The Effects Of Shyness Upon Finding A Good Husband

In an effort to find a suitable spouse some of our Muslim sisters often resort to impermissible, demeaning methods such as free-mixing with men via the Internet, chat rooms, marriage websites, social networks, sending pictures and the like…

…Unfortunately some of our sisters have been deceived into believing this to be the more effective technique for obtaining a spouse, removing from themselves the veil of shyness, modesty and dignity.

Oh my sister in Islam! Trust in Allah and follow the blessed methodology of Islam when choosing a mate.

Shaykh Salih Fawzan (hafidhahullaah) explains how Allaah rewards the shy and modest woman with a good husband.

The Shaykh (hafidhahullaah) said…

Allah the Exalted said concerning the story of Musa alayh salaam:
وَلَمَّا وَرَدَ مَاءَ مَدْيَنَ وَجَدَ عَلَيْهِ أُمَّةً مِنْ النَّاسِ يَسْقُونَ وَوَجَدَ مِنْ دُونِهِمْ امْرَأتَيْنِ تَذُودَانِ قَالَ مَا خَطْبُكُمَا قَالَتَا لا نَسْقِي حَتَّى يُصْدِرَ الرِّعَاءُ
وَأَبُونَا شَيْخٌ كَبِيرٌ * فَسَقَى لَهُمَا

 And when he arrived at the watering (place) in Madyan, he found there a group of men watering (their flocks), and besides them he found two women who were keeping back (their flocks). He said: “What is the matter with you?” They said: “We cannot water (our flocks) until the shepherds take back (their flocks): and our father is a very old man.”

 Until the statement of the Exalted:

 فَجَاءَتْهُ إِحْدَاهُمَا تَمْشِي عَلَى اسْتِحْيَاءٍ قَالَتْ إِنَّ أَبِي يَدْعُوكَ لِيَجْزِيَكَ أَجْرَ مَا سَقَيْتَ لَنَا

 Afterwards one of the women came (back) to him, walking upon bashfulness. She said: “My father invites you that he may reward you for having watered (our flocks) for us.” (Chapter 28: 23-25)

So the bashfulness of these two women prevented them from crowding with the men at the watering hole, rather they waited until a shepherd appeared until they were able to water their flock without crowding with the men.

And when their father sent one of them to Musa to request him to meet with their father; she came to Musa alayh salaam, upon bashfulness.

The result was that Allaah the Exalted chose her as a spouse for His Messenger, the one He spoke to directly, Musa alayh salaam. This was the result of her holding firm to shyness and bashfulness and being far away from mixing with men.

As Allaah the Exalted said:

الطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ

“Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity”. (Chapter 24:26) This story appears in the Noble Quran to be taken by the believing women as a righteous example until the Day of Judgment.

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