I don’t know where to start with my story. My story is not so different from many other sisters. My story is deep with emotions and struggles, but there is only so much I can write. Insha’Allah, what I want to achieve from writing this is to please Allah. I want to expose an issue that is common among many sisters.
While I fasted during Ramadan year after year, I missed a couple of fasts during Ramadan due to natural reasons (menstruation). There are so many of us, especially sisters, with this issue. Missing fasts due to menstruation during Ramadan, and not doing anything about it.
‘Aa’ishah Radiyallahu Anha said: “We were commanded to make up the missed fasts but we were not told to make up the prayers.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
I had so many fasts that piled up over the years that I didn’t make-up.
When I became part of my college MSA, Allah increased my imaan and guided me to make righteous friends. I remember hearing constantly that fasts missed during Ramadan due to a valid reason, such as menstruation, had to be made-up. It was something I owed to Allah, it was a duty I had to fulfill.
Something that kept scaring me about my missed fasts was death. I knew and thought that death is indeed inevitable. We must all go one day … and what if I leave this world tomorrow to meet my Rabb and I haven’t made-up my missed fasts ! This thought scared me so much!
Allah says in the Qur’aan:
“So keep your duty to Allah and fear Him as much as you can”
[al-Taghaabun 64:16]
I sat down and told myself I would fast and make up everything I missed. There I was trying to figure out how many I had missed. The number was a whopping 45+. I told myself I would fast on the days I didn’t have long hours of class or work. So, I would fast Mondays and Thursday, as it is a Sunnah. I would make the intention to make-up my fard missed fasts and fast during these days.
Then I realized I could also fast on the weekends so I began to fast Fridays, Saturday and Sundays as well. I kept track by drawing “X”s on my calendar with a big black Sharpie. Soon, I was fasting all week and there were “X”s all over my calendar.
There were times when I was fasting and it would be Maghrib time. I would be in class, so I would break my fast in class with water and a date. Then, walk outside the class, made wudhu . I would then pray in a stairwell. Would I miss prayer for class ? No way. I, as the rest of mankind, was created to worship and I know my purpose in this world.
After prayer, I would go back to class. My professor always looked at me but never said anything, which I am thankful to Allah for. He would always look up when I got out of my seat and when I returned, he would give me a knowingly smile.
By the time I realized that I should keep count of how many more I needed to make-up, I was well over 60 made up fasts. Subhan’Allah. The days went quickly, and I lost count. I look at my calendar with all the “X”s and I know how hard I worked in the path of Allah. How hard I worked to please my Lord. How I would not take a chance in keeping a fard duty to my Lord.
People ask me often, ” How did you do it?” There faces shine with amazement, while I look at them with a contend heart that is indeed thankful to Allah.
I think it is the will power to obey Allah. The willingness to please Allah and to make sure my duties are accomplished in this world before I met Him. I would not just turn my back on so many fasts I had to make up!
What advice do I have ? You should repent to Allah for the delay, make the intention to make them up and then try your best to fast one at a time insha’Allah. AllahuAkbar – Allah is the Greatest. It is hard to imagine and think about how Allah guided me to actually make-up those fasts. Alhamdulillah.
I look back to that time and I remember many moments. I remember waking up for Suhr (Sehri) early in the morning while the sky was black and eating a banana or a glass or water so I could fast. At that time, everyone in my house would be asleep. Me, I would be awake trying my best to keep my duty to my Rabb.
In school and at work, people would constantly eat in front of me, which was difficult for me sometimes. They would offer and I would politely decline. While at work, they began to notice that I would be fasting so they would make jokes and say,
” Every time I see you, you are always fasting !”
” What a compliment”, I would think.
Alhamdulillah. All praise is due to Allah.
Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam said:
“Whoever fasts one day for the sake of Allah, Allah will keep his face seventy years’ distance from Hell,” (al-Nasaa’i)
Do you know what happened after making up my fasts ? Fasting has become a constant type of worship for me. Now, I try to fast every Mondays and Thursdays. In addition, I also fasts the 13th, 14th and 15th of the Islamic Months.
If you have fard fasts that are you have to make-up in your situation, don’t delay. Remember death is bound to come and there are no more second chances once it comes to you.
While we have time, we should do our best to obey and worship Allah by following the Qur’aan and Sunnah in this big, big, big test – Life.
“Who has created death and life, that He may test you which of you is best in deed…” ( 67:2)
By: “Sr.Silent Ink”
Source: Radio Islam, SA
Masha Allah.This article is so touching especially the consideration of death approaching before repentance.We have to learn to repent fearing death that was created by Allah as a door to the next world.Death will always cut the opportunity to increase or decrease good deed or bad.Next is to be asked on what we sent forth.May Allah increase our imaan so that we die as believing muslims.