We, the Muslim Youths, Have Really Messed up Our Marriage Process

Honey, sweetie, dear, darling and angel are among the most used words by the Muslim youths today. Yes, I am talking about the abhorrent girl-boy relationships that have extremely become prevalent.

Alas, it’s the order of the day to find love letters among  primary and secondary school students. On the other side, looking  on how common this behaviour has become, in universities, you would think  like it’s another compulsory course among Muslim students.

It’s really diabolic because even some parents know what their kids do, but on the contrary, they would prefer overlooking the matter to advising their ‘innocent and loved’ kids. Can you imagine! As if this is not devilish enough, other parents become even very depressed when they realise that their son or daughter has NO opposite sex ‘honey’

Though the Muslim youths seemingly and temporarily ‘enjoy’ this behaviour, it’s fair enough not to forget mentioning its long term repercussions. Yes, one of the negative implications that this illegal I-love-you-/I-love-you-too relationship brings, is inability for the Muslim youths to get married.

One brother told me a very sad yet logical story about his inability to get married. He complained that the only Muslim girls he knew had been and some were still involved in illegal love affairs. He did not want to get married to any of the girls who had been sleeping around with numerous mischievous  boys. He continued to say that marrying  a girl who previously led a ‘deleterious‘ life would be a psychologically clear cut suicide. That is because most of these relationships are chronic hence a chance is there that the wife may end up reconnecting to a former ‘sweet heart’.

At first, I thought it was a minute problem. But, unfortunately, It was and it is not only a big problem but also a growing problem among the Muslim youths who seriously want to get married soon.

Now, what should we do? What are the steps that may help eradicate this catastrophe that has befallen our communities?

By now, of course, some of you may have figured out how to do away with this malady. But guess what,unlike most of the times,  I will start throwing  a blame-ball to our boys. Yes, you heard me.  It it brothers not sisters who mostly and firstly go on the illegal proposing rampage in our communities. They share 33 percent of all this trouble. If it were not by their unIslamic ‘first move’, our sisters could be saved from this corruption a great deal.

Fairly, 33 percent blame should also be attributed to our sisters. You didn’t think I would leave sisters out of this, did you? Of course not. Muslim girls should know that these relationships are haraam in Islam. They must learn how to wear, speak, walk, and behave Islamically. A Muslim girl should know that hummering a wicked boy with a big NO to an illegal love affair is not only a default option but a must in Islam.

The remaining percentage of blame goes to our parents. Some parents get depressed upon hearing that their son or daughter wishes to get married. They can’t contain the idea that their beloved teenager or young male or female is gonna be with another strange human being. They want their son or daughter to finish with his or her education, then that’s and only when the marriage issue would be discussed. Ironic though, we see alot of parents not making a big deal when they hear that their son or daughter is ‘going out’ with somebody. What kind of Islamic mentality is this?

Parents should know that our prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

 “If there comes to you (to propose marriage to your daughter) one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him, for if you do not do that, there will be fitnah (tribulation) on earth and widespread corruption.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani)

So I say, if a brother sees a girl who, Allah forbids, has a dark past but she has repented,  he should get married to her and forget about the past. The same applies to girls. This will help clean the satanic behaviour out of our communities.

Some brothers and sisters argue that they are still young to get married. What a wicked excuse!

How is it then, that these ‘small’ brothers and sisters manage to do anything that married people do except that all activities that they do are done outside the marriage bond?

And explain to me, if these ‘little’ secondary school and university kids were indeed little, then how is it possible that these little ‘marshmallows’  manage to bear other kids when something goes wrong?

School me please, are these characteristics befiting kids who are supposedly not fit for marriage or have we been intoxicated by the foreign culture?

As for the so-called Muslim lovebirds who say that they want to achieve something – such as a certificate, a position, a project and so on – and then say that they want to achieve that first, then they will get married, I say to them: Why are you ignoring marriage for that reason?

Marriage has never been a barrier to achieving things, rather in most cases it is a support and a help. That is just the whisperings of the shaytaan, which he has instilled in the minds of many young men so that it has become prevalent in our culture and society.

“O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared and do not die except as Muslims (in submission to Him)”. [Quran 3 verse 102]