Muslim Women Organisation (MWO) has expressed concern over the increase of the number of Muslim women married to non-Muslims saying they are losing good Muslims who would have helped towards the development of Muslim community in Malawi.
“We are worried with what our sisters are doing but we cannot blame them because we know our brothers are responsible for this trend. They don’t propose them and rather they prefer to go for Christians. We have many beautiful and very kind Muslim women in our community who are still swimming in the ocean of singleness but they do not want to go for them,” said MWO chairlady, sister Fatima Ndaila.
But Sheikh Muhammad Uthman, the renowned Islamic marriage counselor at Islamic Information Bureau said the big problem is in the hands of women themselves as they don’t want to follow what Islam and prophet Muhamad (saw) teaches them.
“The problem lies in the hands of Muslim women themselves. Islam permitted a woman to express her interest if they meet a man of her desire. They can do this through different ways, whether by informing her parents or anybody she thinks can help to unite them. But you will see that only people of the book (Christians) who are following this law although they don’t know is a law. I am saying this according to my experience,” he said.
“Second reason is that Islam allowed polygamy but when you tell today’s Muslim girls, they talk a lot of things showing that they are not interested while if you can go to Christians, they will accept because what they want is to be at a good marriage and gain respect,” he continued.
“Thirdly, nowadays’ men like to sleep with a woman before getting marriage which cannot happen with well educated sisters while if you go to a Christian, she don’t mind that provided at the end of the day, she get married. Therefore, you can see there that there are some misunderstandings in our community but marriage of the same denomination is very important,” he concluded.
However, sister Aisha Katita shared the same views with the Sheikh, adding that some Muslim women are looking for the educated men that is why they are going for the Christians.
“Some how I can I agree with them [MWO], but you know what, the world is not the same as was 20 years ago. Things have changed. Nowadays girls go for educated men. We Muslims we are just developing now. I can tell you that only few Muslim guys are well educated. You will find that most of them are sheikhs. I am saying this according [to my] experience. I am a girl of 19yrs old. I had been with girls of different kinds and I had heard the conversation,” said sister Aisha Katita on our Facebook page.
While sister Atupele Makwinja had the following views: “I can agree with you partly but mind you, nowadays girls are going for those men who are rich, poor is also a contributing factor!
However, Brother Muhamad Jumuah said many women are involved in multiple relationships with a reason of looking for a serious one that it is why men are not proposing them.
“We are not proposing them because of their bahaviour. Amakhala ndi zibwenzi zambirimbiri [they do involved into multiple relationships] with the pretext that they want to choose one who is serious,” he said.
While brother Busta Torrington Mghae had these to say: “That is really true. But the issue is that Muslim women are too ambitious and they refuse our proposals, in so doing it seems like we don’t propose them.”
This is true and we men are to blame cause we are the one who propose to women, so if we chose to propose to christians who will marry our sisters
Sometimes muslim sisters become stiff to be approached by fellow muslims yet we see them chatting freely with non muslims.It is through these chts that we see them taken by the kufaris under the pretex of not being proposed by muslims.How do you expect a serious proposal if you don'nt first show interest or conviction? It is a sad development that ummat is being reduced in that manner.May this be a messege to those getting married to strangrs in deen.
This is really a sad development.the truth is, this is happening in most parts of the world.I think the biggest problem here is lack of Islamic knowledge.I don't think if one has enough knowledge of Islam will leave the religion because she has been proposed by a Christian man.this shows the weakness that we have amongst us. lack of knowledge.Will these sisters tell Allah on the judgement day that they left the religion because no muslim man offered to marry them?
The other point is that of education and financial status.you will find that if a sister is educated, she wouldn't like to get married to uneducated man which is the case amongst muslim men.is only nowdays that we are able to see well educated muslims though not many.the same applies to the brothers also.
The solution:I dont think blaming each other will help. we need to find a solution to this problem as a single ummah.Fathers,mothers, brothers and sisters, let us acquire some Islamic knowledge so that we do not drift so easly.so that we are able to tell someone why we believe in whatever we believe in i.e. why we are muslims.Remember, seeking knowledge is obligatory for every muslim ( be it male or female).May Allah help us
This is a hot issue. But I strongly blame the parents for letting their daughters get married to non-Muslim men. Why and how if really the parents are Muslims? I don't understand.
Likewise, I often laugh when I hear that a Muslim brother is converting a non-believer girl and having nikah with her. Its so obvious that this girl is accepting to join the fold of Islam because of marriage and nothing else. Do u think after your death she will still be a Muslim? and what about your children? Not only death, the moment u dirvoce she takes the children and automatically they become non-believers. Is this right? Do u mean to say only Muslim girls have loose morals? Is this reason valid enough in the eyes of Allah? Tiyeni timuwope Namalenga, marry us your beautiful Muslim sisters. Next time u want to marry a non-Muslim sister think twice. Because besides pretending to be a Muslim, by the time she is finished with u, she would have also diluted your iman like sobo orange drink. This is the kind of woman who would never remind u of salat even a single day.
Worse still istinja or jannabat mean nothing to her.
Shaaa chemwali Ida tupekene! Awechete nditu!! Mine is just an expression of happiness that this forum is becoming more and more interactive. Members are effectively and constructively utilizing this space to enhance interactivity, education and above all imaan butressing through knowledge sharing. Lets keep up this spirit. May Allah guide us!
Firstly I would like to agree with the sheikh that really isalm allowed polygamy. But with my little knowledge I know that this is based on genuine reasons as described in the holy Quran. Our Muslim brothers have totally misused this. we see alot of muslim brothers marrying 2, 3, 4 wives with no apparent reason. they dont even inform the first wife about their intention to marry another woman. This has resulted in Muslim ladies losing trust in these brothers.
Secondly I also agree that Islam allowed muslim ladies to propose, but looking at our Malawian culture, when a girl proposes, she is deemed as a prostitute. Izizi ndi zoona, ukangofunsira amati iyeyu wafunsira angati( how many has she proposed befor she came to me). Most of the times the men think that you are up to something they poses(materially) that you are attracted to
So, sister, what do you think we can do to make sure that this problem do not exist anymore?