Based on the experience of the past years, from Chitipa to Nsanje Muslim families are suffering from increasing number of homeless children, now it is time to close down the ever-mounting wave of divorces among Muslims. It is not unusual today to find Muslim women who by the time they are 30-35 years old, have been married three or four times and their children keeps suffering from the pain of fatherless and broken homes.
Question may arise here, why, every year, the number of Muslim couples registered for divorce keeps growing? Is there nothing that can be done to avoid this to ever be happened again in the future? Here appears importance of creative thinking and problem solving approach.
As a wise creation that been created by Allah and as we had been given the specialty from other creatures, ‘aql (brain) that we possessed, of course there is the solution to this problem. It can be done into three phases:
a- before marriage
b- during the marriage
c- And if it happened after the end of a marriage, how to fix it back.
The process of choosing a partner for a companion in this life should not be taken lightly by all Muslims. This is because it is concerns about the future of both sides and the future of the generation that comes after them. Here some essentials points that should be observed by all before take a decision to start a life with someone, in order to make it bless full and long lasting.
First, always ask help and guidance from Allah, Most High as only Him know what is the best for His slaves. Consult your heart and always listen to your inner voice. It is likely to be more correct that your mind which often plays tricks and can rationalize almost anything.
Next, find out the reason why this person wants to marry you?Is it for love or money? Then, try to get to know your partner but always remember that it should within the limits permissible in Islam, before deciding on marriage. Try to understand his/her nature, what makes him/her tick, his/her temperament etc.
Talk to several people who know him/her, not just one, but have someone that you can trust to listen. Find out about his family and try to understand each other expectations. The most important thing that should be taken into account is find out the degree of his understanding about Islam and whether it is compatible with your own.
So many marriages have broken because the partners are in such haste that they don’t take time such vital checks and rush into things. Ask yourself; “Do I want to marry this man/woman?” If you are not sure, think it again. Lastly, never allow yourself to be pressured into a marriage and should be never agreed to engage in a contract marriage because it is sinful, forget not early marriages have contributed negatively to over increasing number of homeless children in our Muslim community.
